I got a friend. He's a real great guy but he's a terrible house guest. He comes over and tries to throw a party...keeps me up, gets me sick...he's kinda a jerk. But you know what? He's a real friend when the going gets tough. I know I can count on him.
My uncle went through colon cancer too. He hated going to chemo. You feel gross, your body does weird things, and its a little bit of hell. But my aunt, the smart women that she is, reminded him that he should not fight the chemo. Chemo was making sure you stay alive. She told him "Accept it into every cell of your body and let it do what it needs to." I thought this was good advice.
So now, I tell my husband I am going to visit my friend, Chemo. Us two sit in infusion and we chill out, drink a lukewarm Coke, and Chemo does what he is good at.
I know people who declare "It's POISON! They are killing you!!!" Those people think eating lots of carrots and peas is gonna fix this. Personally, I don't buy into the cynicism and paranoia of people who tell you all doctors are hiding the cure to cancer, and (baking soda / coffee enemas / vegetables) are gonna cure you. Yes, I know what chemo is doing to me, but through all the unpleasentness- I am being given a chance.
The reality is, there is no panacea. No perfect solution. No painless cure. That's hard for some people to accept.
The way I first envisioned it was like the story of the Phoenix.
The Phoenix is set on fire, is consumed, and rises from the ashes anew.
Chemo sets me on fire...it hurts, drags me down, tires me out- healthy cells and all...but at the end, I get the chance to be reborn.
My uncle went through colon cancer too. He hated going to chemo. You feel gross, your body does weird things, and its a little bit of hell. But my aunt, the smart women that she is, reminded him that he should not fight the chemo. Chemo was making sure you stay alive. She told him "Accept it into every cell of your body and let it do what it needs to." I thought this was good advice.
So now, I tell my husband I am going to visit my friend, Chemo. Us two sit in infusion and we chill out, drink a lukewarm Coke, and Chemo does what he is good at.
I know people who declare "It's POISON! They are killing you!!!" Those people think eating lots of carrots and peas is gonna fix this. Personally, I don't buy into the cynicism and paranoia of people who tell you all doctors are hiding the cure to cancer, and (baking soda / coffee enemas / vegetables) are gonna cure you. Yes, I know what chemo is doing to me, but through all the unpleasentness- I am being given a chance.
The reality is, there is no panacea. No perfect solution. No painless cure. That's hard for some people to accept.
The way I first envisioned it was like the story of the Phoenix.
The Phoenix is set on fire, is consumed, and rises from the ashes anew.
Chemo sets me on fire...it hurts, drags me down, tires me out- healthy cells and all...but at the end, I get the chance to be reborn.
So hard not to smile at this but then tears came to my eyes to think about how terrible everything you are going through really is. Not much else to say. Hang in there, I hope it improves!
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