I never thought I would see E.T the Extraterrestrial in person. But I have! I walked into the bathroom and in the big mirrors I saw him staring back at me. Swollen belly, skinny tone-less arms and chest, flat butt, flat chest, and the tomato.
That was me?
Cue the 1:25 mark:
Before all this, I was a bit overweight. It was such a huge deal to me, not fitting into the same jeans I wore during my "prime". I got depressed thinking about it. My husband would tell me how gorgeous I was and I would smile shyly- half believe it, half not. When weight started to drop, it seemed like my wish had come true! If only I had known that my wish came at a steep price. Now, I would kill to get those 40 pounds back, and with it my muscle tone, a healthy liver, and the ability to shit from the orifice that God intended.
We all have something we hate about our bodies. The lesson here is love your body. Appreciate it. It could be worst...
...I kinda hate "it could be worst" though. Sure, I can be limbless and on fire right now. That thought isn't very comforting to me. "It could be worst" feels like it negates my feelings, while simultaneously insulting the de-limbed and enflamed individuals of the world.
Have I not really learned anything then? What can I take away from this?
The truth is that we don't like not having control over our bodies. Doesn't matter if that is being too skinny / fat / slow / flabby / weak / insert your insecurity here. It's not the thing so much, its how insurmountable changing it feels at that moment. I think that is what weighs on us, lowers us, and causes little stretch marks in our confidence.
So...where does that leave me? I wish I could end this with some sweeping, wonderful message of self-love. It would be hypocritical though- I see E.T. when I look in the mirror. I can't change that right now, and I doubt cancer will be kind to my body moving forward. All I can hope for is that someday I will be able to heal it, change it, and go back to hating "the small things".
Maybe, being E.T. is not so bad...?
That was me?
Cue the 1:25 mark:
Before all this, I was a bit overweight. It was such a huge deal to me, not fitting into the same jeans I wore during my "prime". I got depressed thinking about it. My husband would tell me how gorgeous I was and I would smile shyly- half believe it, half not. When weight started to drop, it seemed like my wish had come true! If only I had known that my wish came at a steep price. Now, I would kill to get those 40 pounds back, and with it my muscle tone, a healthy liver, and the ability to shit from the orifice that God intended.
We all have something we hate about our bodies. The lesson here is love your body. Appreciate it. It could be worst...
...I kinda hate "it could be worst" though. Sure, I can be limbless and on fire right now. That thought isn't very comforting to me. "It could be worst" feels like it negates my feelings, while simultaneously insulting the de-limbed and enflamed individuals of the world.
Have I not really learned anything then? What can I take away from this?
The truth is that we don't like not having control over our bodies. Doesn't matter if that is being too skinny / fat / slow / flabby / weak / insert your insecurity here. It's not the thing so much, its how insurmountable changing it feels at that moment. I think that is what weighs on us, lowers us, and causes little stretch marks in our confidence.
So...where does that leave me? I wish I could end this with some sweeping, wonderful message of self-love. It would be hypocritical though- I see E.T. when I look in the mirror. I can't change that right now, and I doubt cancer will be kind to my body moving forward. All I can hope for is that someday I will be able to heal it, change it, and go back to hating "the small things".
Maybe, being E.T. is not so bad...?
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